By popular demand, I’ll share some of my craziest D2D stories and one from someone very close to me. Getting a gun pulled on you isn’t even that crazy. It happened to me twice during my first year in Texas (shocker). It hasn’t happened to me since then, but it has to people on my team.
If you sell D2D long enough people will eventually… try to bang you, answer the door naked (sadly mine was an old man in a wheelchair.), call the cops on you, and try to fight you (I probably deserved it once). Those are mainly the crazy people. People will offer you water, food, jobs to respectfully decline, umbrellas to get out of the heat or rain, and all sorts of acts of kindness. You get to experience the entire spectrum in D2D.
People are generally kind-hearted, so don’t let the few crazies scare you off.
Naked Wheelie Guy
I’ll start with the naked, old guy in a wheelchair…
It was a warm day in Houston and I came across a house with a wheelchair ramp. Bingo! Rookies would think to skip the house, but they definitely aren’t spraying for bugs themselves. They almost always have disability payments too so they generally aren’t broke.
I rang the doorbell and heard a little commotion. It took FOREVER for him to answer, but I was patient since I knew he was handicapped. He opened the door with “This better be good, I was taking a shit!”
I knew immediately this wasn’t going to be a normal sale.
I started my pitch and he was a laydown. “Oh, I need that, come on in.” I started showing him the price on my iPad when I looked down and noticed his twig and berries were staring right at me.
Now a lot of people might be so shocked they would act like they didn’t notice. Of course, being the salesman I am, I pointed it out and quickly explained that it’s no big deal, I see old men slong at the gym every day with a laugh.
Then I closed the deal. At least this time I got paid to see ole man nuts and bolts.
The Trailer Park Kirby
Now if you remember, the first thing I sold D2D was Kirby vacuums. I started by calling people who’ve had their Kirby’s serviced in the past couple of years to set up demos for the new Kirby. Well, one day there was an appointment that none of the salesmen could get to. So, they ask me to do it. There was only one problem. I had never seen a demo myself much less knew how to put it back in the box once I got it out. (There is an exact way to put it back in or it won’t fit.)
So I pull up to the address. It’s in a trailer park. That was the first red flag. When I walk into the trailer an in-home healthcare lady opens the door. I then see the woman I talked to and she’s a paraplegic…
Obviously, this woman isn’t using a vacuum. Red flag number two.
I ask where her old Kirby is and she says in storage. Not even using it. Plus I can’t use it for trade-in value. Red flag number three.
Here is where it gets really fucked up. She has 4 pet rabbits running all over her trailer, pooping everywhere. I was stunned.
At this point, I just accepted this would be good practice for me to learn how to actually use a Kirby. Not to mention charity work. Thank god I was only going to vacuum and shampoo one room not the whole thing. The whole time I’m watching Youtube videos to learn how to put it together and use the shampooer.
It ended up taking me three hours to get one 8 x10 room totally clean. It was an absolute nightmare. I tried to get it back in the box for about 10 minutes, but I was so fed up that I just threw it all in my car and dropped it at the shop for the owner to put it up.
The next day I watched one of the Vets do a demo and I was convinced it was an incredible vacuum. Nothing comes close in terms of cleaning carpet to a Kirby. There is just no way I’d sell them again. Couldn’t pay me to vacuum someone’s carpet.
The Senile Shover
One day I was showing a new rep how it was done. I switched over to a nice lady from her old company and a common question I ask after getting referrals is, “Are there any crazy neighbors I should stay away from?” She pointed right next door and told me he’s extremely cranky and nobody likes him. Of course, I still go to give it a shot, but I like to know so I’m prepared for the worst.
He’s already outside doing what old guys do, fiddling around in his yard. I walk up the stairs to meet him and he immediately cuts me off with a “Not interested.” I roll over it easily and before I can tell him why I’m there he cuts me off again. I realize this is going nowhere fast. I turn around to leave and he gives me a solid shove! I was shocked this old man put his hands on me like that. Nonetheless, I was walking down steps so I could have easily fallen down.
When I got down to the street, I turned around and told him if he wasn’t 100 years old and I didn’t want to keep a good reputation in this neighborhood I’d invite him to come to duke it out in the street with me. Probably not the noblest thing I could say, but damn I was heated. He just yelled that I should have listened to him the first time he said no.
I explained to the new guy in all my years that was the first time someone put their hands on me. I’ve had plenty of threats, but nothing like that.
Spitters are Quitters
Now this one didn’t happen to me, but we were selling pest control around downtown Denver during prime Rona season. I get a call from one of my friends in an absolute panic. I tried to call him down, but he was hysterical.
He was walking to meet us for lunch since we were relatively close and he passed a homeless encampment. Apparently, there was a fight going on between the squatters and they threatened him with a knife to get away from them. Before he could even respond, the lady with the knife spit on him, and a lot of it went into his mouth.
I couldn’t help but laugh when he told the story at lunch and he was convinced he had herpes, the Rona, or both. I told him that is nasty but some people are into that kind of thing. He didn’t appreciate the joke and proceeded to get tested for everything. He was totally fine.
FIN
Not every day is a walk in the park with D2D, but you get to experience it all and have plenty of stories to share with everyone after it’s all said and done.
Don’t let the crazies discourage you from selling D2D if you’re considering it. Like I said, people are generally kind-hearted and you only run into a few not-so-friendly folks. This is what people are really like behind closed doors!